Respect

Aims of the meeting:

• To show the importance of having respect for one’s fellow man
• To try and relate the theme to Bnei Akiva
• To make the Chanachim aware that Madrachim are human beings with feeling, and they should become more sensitive to other people.

Having just come back from camp a Month or so ago and starting back at work here in Israel I discovered myself thinking about the necessity of teaching about ‘דרץ ארץ’ – Respect to our Chanachim.

Why? I hear you cry do we need to do a peula on Respect. Well the simple answer is IT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND IT NEEDS TO BE DONE ASAP!! 

How many times did I hear Chanachim speaking to Madrachim with no respect whatsoever?

How many times did I hear Chanachim put down their peers?

How many times did Chanachim not listen to what Madrachim had to say?

Too many times – hence RESPECT must be the very first thing we cover.

For this peula we are going to focus on the Topic of ואהבת לרעך כמוך

There is, however, one point which should be mentioned at this and that is, there is a saying in Hebrew which reads..

דרץ ארץ קדמה לתורה

RESPECT COMES BEFORE TORAH

It’s important, so let’s not forget it!!

The Torah writes in Parshat Kedoshim 51 positive and negative commandments. Out of these over 30 are between man and his fellow man.

Relevant Mitzvit to Bein Adam LeChavero:

• Fear Parents
• Not to steal valuables
• Not to deny possession of something of value which posses
• Do not gossip
• Not to stand by when someone’s bleeding
• Cursing parents
• Cheating in measures
• Love all of Am Yisrael
• Don’t make an idol for yourself or anyone else
• Not to swear falsely on something valuable
• Not to delay paying wages
• Not to hate one’s brethren
• Not to shame a Jew
• Leaving the parts of your produce for the poor
• Holding someone’s property wrongly
• Not to curse a Jew
• Not to mislead a trusting person
• Rebuking someone when he is wrong
• Don’t take revenge
• Don’t bear a grudge

This list just touches on some of the many Mitzvot pertaining to the Jewish people under the heading of Respect/Derech Eretz. The highlighted words are things that could pertain directly to the Chanichim at camp and things that they could try to better within themselves.

The basic levels of respect involve, not gossiping about people, not cursing other Jews, not shaming a Jew, not stealing and not bearing a grudge.

It has become more and more apparent that

Chanichim don’t listen to Madrachim when they tell them

to do something, are quite happy in embarrassing each other, putting

each other down, swearing at each other and Madrachim, and

unfortunately, some are even taking other people’s

possessions without asking.

What can we do to stop this apparent demise?

It’s about time that Chanichim realised that there is a certain level of common decency which is expected of them. We tell Chanichim to do things because it is in their best interest to do so. We tell Chanachim off because we care about them and other people who may be affected by what they are saying and doing. We have to try and instil within our Chanachim, our Madrachim of the future, the necessity for respect.

                              We all know people who get on our nerves and who do things which frustrate us and which we don’t agree with, however, we have to be   tolerant of them and we have to be sensitive to them. At the end of the day,                               RESPECT, is the undercurrent!

Bnei Akiva is a movement that is named for Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva coined the phrase ואהבת לרעך כמוך – love your neighbour like yourself, it is our job as members of this wonderful movement to live up to our name and start respecting our fellow Chaverim with the respect which is expected of members of Bnei Akiva.

v     Co-operation games – games whereby an individual is dependant on someone else. Guiding people blindfolded from one end of the room to the other, or something where follow my leader games are played

v     A series of scenarios of what they would do in the same situation e.g. sitting on a train when an old man gets on. Do you give up your seat that you had been waiting for, for ages? Idea of self-sacrifice.

v     Follow my leader, action game and copycat games

v     Game, quiz, plays relating to the above listed mitzvoth stemming from Rabbi Akiva’s ideology.

v     Allow them to discuss how they would learn to respect people who they really don’t get on with. Explain that it is a very difficult concept to grapple with, but make them understand that it is necessary, and a fundamental aspect within Judaism and Bnei Akiva.

v     Try the “Gamadim” game. Each Chanich/a is given one or two pther Chanachim to be extra nice to i.e compliments, presents etc. At the end of the Kvutza each person must guess who their “Gemad” was.

v     Discuss the concept of using your emotions on command: to respect, not to bear a grudge etc. Use funny role plays e.g. your mum sets you up with a really annoying boy/girl and you have to fancy him/her by the end of the evening.