·      To get people to be nicer to each other

·      To realise that it isn’t just a nice idea to be nice to each other but so much more

·      To learn that without loving yourself first there is no mitzvah

Nine years ago I walked up to the Bima in Stanmore shul to lein Parshat Vayeira, my Barmitzvah sidra. A day later I had one of the most unbeleivable parties ever thanks to my amazing parents but as is traditional for these Jewish affairs I gave a D’var Torah. As I was only 13 my brother prepared a the D’var Torah for me. Somehow in the D’var Torah I managed to turn everything on its head and get my parents to thank me for allowing them to make such a big party for me all because of one message given over in the Sidra? Lets try and work out what I am talking about.

v    Why do you do good things to other people?

v    Do you do it for yourself or do you do it for them?

If you are doing it for the sake of the other person why did Hashem send three angels, who don’t eat or drink, for Avraham to be a host to and feed them etc?

Ok this may sound a bit ludicrous or even heretical but when you do something good for someone else you are actually doing it for yourself.  This is why my parents thanked me for providing them with the opportunity to perform such a great mitzvah of providing myself and lots of other people with an amazing evening.

Anyway as we are talking about the idea of Bein Adam Lechaveiro it is probably a good idea to bring down the principal source on this subject:

Now following on from the egocentric look at the idea of doing good deeds to others because YOU want to lets look at Whitney Houstons interpretation of the Pasuk above. (Ok maybe she wasn’t intending on interpreting this Pasuk when saying this idea but the principle is still there). Everyone knows the song “The Greatest Love of All”, which in my opinion is a song which has an unbelievable line in that everyone misses – “Learning to love yourself - it is the greatest love of all”

·       What is this nutcase on learning Torah concepts from a Whitney Houston song?

Look back at the Pasuk again – “Love your neighbour as YOURSELF!” – If you don’t love yourself then how can you fulfil what Rabbi Akiva calls the main principle of the Torah? Once you have worked out how to love yourself only then can you apply the same love to others. 

·       How far does the extent of the word YOURSELF extend?

We all know that this level of friendship is a level that is extremely difficult to reach. Well even if you don’t, Hillel did:

Hillel doesn’t quote the Pasuk quoted above, he changes to something slightly different, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour”. Instead of having to have to do a physical action all he is saying is to not be horrible to other people. Even if we can’t reach the level the Torah sets out, we should then start at the level that Hillel spells out for us.

Deep down, we know when we are doing something that isn’t quite right. All our lives are spent interacting with other people, and we should constantly be aware of how we are acting and treating others. We don’t even need to do this on a huge scale – just think small. All we need to do is make a start, and think about our circle of friends and close family. Consider how we would like to be treated, and that is how we should act towards others.

And just to finish off with a very famous but very apt quote:

Concentric circles it is as simple as that. We really do have to go out and help the rest of the world and we have to get that message over to the chanichim but first make sure that we are good people and that we care about ourselves first.

IDEAS

Aleph

·    Any sort of game that involves one person having to do something for someone else to win (make up your own rules)

·    Blindfolded obstacle course – Having to rely on your friends

·    Give out lots of sweets to one person and see what they do!

Bet

·    Timeltable of day and see how much of it involves interaction with friends

·    Scrupples – Situations of when you need help from friends or they need you but you could go to a football match intstead etc... What do you do?